How to Occupy your children
As the schools closed and kids stuck at home permanently, many parents struggled to adjust to the new reality and manage their new life with their children around all the time. Their productivity level plunged and stress level soared. The personal pain of not being able to accomplish and the guilt of not being able to tend to their own children is sometime unbearable beyond any non-parent person can understand.
Sadly, many had resorted to screens and unhealthy diets to occupy their children in order to free up time to be productive, building bad habit for both the children and the parents. TV and screens should be enjoyed together as a family when parents and children can interact. Using them as a distraction for parents’ relief can easily become an addiction for the parents (“Hey, this is easy. Why not turn it on again?” ) as well as the children. What are now on the screens are all carefully designed for maximum addiction, even for kids. The withdrawal is quite noticeable once the screen is turned off without another reward or punishment (We will talk Two things you should never use as easy way out — screens and sweets.about reward and punishment in another post).
Just like a marriage, in which the couple generally pledge to be alongside each other in good and bad times, giving birth to a child implies the same. This unfortunate pandemic and the schools’ closing is exactly the test of your faith as a parent. How much your commitment is as a parent during this trying time will propel your children with a head start than other peers in the long run after this lock down is over.
So how to occupy my children?
The short answer is no. You can’t occupy them, but you can engage with them.
By occupying your children, you are presuming they are bored, under-stimulated, and need something to do. That something will easily be whatever is easiest for you, like a flick of a TV.
Children are imaginative creatures by design, and they have infinite energy. My four-year-old always say she is tired when actually she is bored. They think of everything in simple energy terms. They are bored not because they don’t have anything to do. They are because it’s dull, and they would rather watch TV because it’s exciting.
This is important: If your children could choose between watching TV and playing hide and seek with you, they would likely kill for the latter.
Most parents think it takes time and energy — away from their work and chores — to entertain their children. The opposite is true. Because of this initial misconception, parents fail to engage deeply with them, and they can tell. They can tell between you reading a book just to finish it and reading it with zest. Youngsters are surprisingly good at reading emotions and sincerity, and they can tell just by your voice’s tone and pace if you are sincerely engaged. This is why it might have taken so long for you. It just wasn’t enough engagement.
Surprisingly, when children are fulfilled, it’s easier for them become independent. Those are the times when they don’t need you around at all, but they only come after you have selflessly put everything aside and engage with them wholeheartedly. So try it today. Set aside about an hour, turn off your cell phone, TV, and work, wear a bed sheet as a cape, and walk to your children in a make-believe voice. Start a story and improvise, be silly, be present. Chances are after that hour you will leave better off with more time for yourself and calmer kids and overall much less stress.
